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Work and Sanity

Yesterday was a shite of a day. I was left feeling so angry and frustrated at the hands of my experiments and my co-workers that the only thing I could think clearly about was breaking something. Or someone.

So I have decided that today I will spend the barest minimum amount of time at my place of work, hopefully to prevent me from doing something stupid that I can't take back.

In summary: my chemostat is fucked once more, and there are only two possible explainations for it - 1) there is some sort of mechanical problem with the chemostat itself, or 2) I am a complete fuck-tard and a waste of scientific funding. As for my co-workers, they are so wound up in their own narrow-minded lives that it is impossible for them to think about the needs, dare I say the esteem, of other people around them.

It's all about *their* experiments, *their* work. If they need to move through a certain space, then everybody needs to get out of their way rather than them waiting the extra fifteen seconds. If they need to use bench-space, then they have to take up other people's areas, because of course they still need room to use things.

What I hate most are the veiled insults, be they intentional or not. And really, if you have already made up your mind about what you should do, then you really shoudn't be asking for my opinion on the matter.

What do I want? Just a little respect. To be treated like an equal. To be less stupid would be a bonus, too. I'm getting really sick of people asking me "why is it that your stuff keeps going wrong?" There is only one answer to that. I'm just not good enough.

Actually, that's a pretty good answer which basically explains the way I get treated at work. I should remember that.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
mareth_redorb
Jul. 1st, 2004 05:01 pm (UTC)
Whoa, sounds like you need to take a holiday and refocus. Get out of there, go have fun, flake out, whatever for a week. You are not being paid enough for this much stress.
rincemaj
Jul. 1st, 2004 07:17 pm (UTC)
I think we need to buy you an Aretha CD. :)

Sounds like you need a break from it all, maybe a long weekend holiday or some such. :)
fraerie
Jul. 2nd, 2004 01:27 am (UTC)
doing something constructive...
... can sometimes make you feel in control again.

Do you have a record of all the problems with the chemostat? Does anyone else use it - have they also experienced problems? Is there a service history for the device - when was it last serviced, is it due for a service, can the manufacturer test it?

Don't look on it as trying to dodge any form of responsibility - look on it as taking responsibility for the success of your results. If you have faulty equipment you cannot reasonably expect to get reliable results. If the lab director won't get the unit tested then they are wasting the funding - not you.

*hugs*
fraerie
Jul. 3rd, 2004 12:31 am (UTC)
doing something constructive...
... can sometimes make you feel in control again.

Do you have a record of all the problems with the chemostat? Does anyone else use it - have they also experienced problems? Is there a service history for the device - when was it last serviced, is it due for a service, can the manufacturer test it?

Don't look on it as trying to dodge any form of responsibility - look on it as taking responsibility for the success of your results. If you have faulty equipment you cannot reasonably expect to get reliable results. If the lab director won't get the unit tested then they are wasting the funding - not you.

*hugs*
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )