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From heck's heart, I gibber at thee

I'm having one of those days where there is so much to do that I am paralysed, unable to decide where to begin. Every time I say to myself, "fuckit, just do something", I can't follow through. I start to do what ever it is, but I just run out of steam. Everything just seems too big, too complicated, and too overwhelming.

I had to squash a panic attack today in the middle of a conversation when I realised that all this work, failed or otherwise, that I have been doing will eventually have to be written up and put into a thesis. Regardless of the completion or lack therof of such a work, I would still have to start. A thesis, for crissake.

If I get told one more time how important it is to get this stuff I keep getting wrong right, I think I'll cry. I know how important it is. I don't need to have my nose rubbed in the stench of my own failure repeatedly, like a puppy that has taken a dump of the rug.

And, to top it all off, it's time for the house to have its annual inspection.

My thanks go to two very special boys who have tried to hold me together, or at least to give me a soft place to fall. They should know who they are.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
sleazemonkey
Jul. 28th, 2004 10:06 pm (UTC)
Right! Thats IT!

Im launching a mission to travel directly to the heart of heck to capture and liberate the elusive beckabeast.

We'll need:

A long piece of rope
A ten foot pole
An elf to find secret passages (astro_dust)
A dwarf to navigate the stony depths (steam_punk)
Six litres of mead
Some sexy, lilting music to sooth any savage beasts we may encounter
And sisteen kilo's of chocolate cake.

Who's with me? SOUND OFF!!
sleazemonkey
Jul. 28th, 2004 10:26 pm (UTC)
it has been brought my attention that this comment may have been considered...*ahem* lieud in its overtones.

I assure my audience, I have nothing but wholesome adventuring in mind.
(Deleted comment)
punk_rock_nerd
Jul. 29th, 2004 10:26 am (UTC)
One, Two.

If you need a tragic anti-hero, I'm in. And face it, what story doesn't need a tragic anti-hero?
kitling
Jul. 29th, 2004 09:39 pm (UTC)
chocolate cake
rock on!
real_bad_karma
Jul. 29th, 2004 12:46 am (UTC)
I'm in
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )