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You mother FUCKER.

Okay, uni work is completely getting me down. I'm working on a really limited time frame at the moment, and things have gone wrong. Big deal, I thought, I'll fix it up over the weekend. I came into work yesterday to check things, and found that they had gone wrong.

Oh well, I thought, I still have a back up which I can fix up for sunday.

And the FUCKER still hasn't worked.

I'm doing something wrong, something obviously wrong, I just don't know what it is. I need someone to watch me do this thing to try and spot what ever it is that I've been doing wrong... and the problem with THAT is that it's sunday, and the people I need won't be in until tomorrow. And waiting for them means I lose even more time.

I could try it again by myself today, but quite frankly I don't trust my own abilities.

And that little sentance just summaries all that is awful about doing a PhD - all it has done for me is taken away what little faith I had in my own abilities.

If you have self-esteem issues, don't do a PhD.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
eyeofbast
Jan. 23rd, 2005 01:46 am (UTC)
If you have self-esteem issues, don't do a PhD.

Yer not wrong...

But you are not your project...

And biosciences have a habit of being unpredictable and shitty.

We had a year and a half of ruined experiments cos our climate control was broken so all our room-temp reagents went funny. Not to mention the discomfort of working in a lab that was anywhere between 12 and 45C.

If you get through, wear those scars with pride. You've earned them.
virtual_munkee
Jan. 23rd, 2005 02:27 am (UTC)
sounds like crapola babe!! i bet u will work thru it, i am sending good phd thoughts to ya. i have to hand in some 6month-in-core-component lit review crap and research proposal stuff. but i am over it, i want to come home n not have it niggling at the back of my mind. *sighs* another 3ish years of this! yay....*double sigh*

*sends good happy phd thoughts* u need em more than me
paracelsus
Jan. 23rd, 2005 03:04 pm (UTC)
I just had a conversation tonight about how your project isn't you. They're related, sure, but you know the difference. Admittedly, in the humanities, the difference is different,but we aren't just our failings, we are our triumphs too.


I remember once we summoned Isis.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )