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Well, I can honestly say that the funeral was one of the sadder and more surreal periods of time in my life. Grown men, as tough and hard as nails, weeping like babes. My mother refusing to return my embrace, standing rigid in my arms, only to go to her two sisters and cling to eachother as it the very wind threatened to drag them away. The tears in my grandfathers eyes glistening in the sun like is tiny, almost invisible masonic pin on his lapel. The Catholics intoning their prayers like cultists. My brother being a pall barer. The woman who I did not know and who I had never met who stood behind me when we were leaving the church and put her hand on my back for comfort, becaus I was crying so much and there was no one else who would do it. Mary's son faultering when he lead her coffin, because he finally saw her grave.

Good people, strong people in my family. My uncle did not waver in the eulegy for his wife, because he was brave.

I have decided that I don't like funerals.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 9th, 2002 05:22 pm (UTC)
I've decided that all funerals are surreal, it is the only way we can cope with them.

It's the sensation of "but they were still around this time last week, this can't be real", it's the sudden changes of plans to accomodate the unexpected, everyone if out of synch, off guard and off balance. No has had time to get their game face on yet.

I don't think you ever get used to them - unless you are an undertaker, or the like, and you don't have a personal connection to the person about to be put in a box and interred or burnt to ash. I understand the sense of closure that should come from the disposal of the 'remains', while the physical representation of the person is still around, how can 'they' not be?

Anyway, that's just a long and convoluted way of saying, condolences and gentle hugs during your time of berevement. I hope you are all OK. I will hug Josh on Saturday (assuming I still see him) and will send one to you via him if I can.


Oct. 10th, 2002 06:12 am (UTC)

I don't like funerals either.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )