Becka (miss_rynn) wrote,

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Existential Angst

I don't want to go to work today, but I figure that I will anyway. I have a guilt complex THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS big, you see, and I feel obliged to go. It sucks being a conscientious student (who can't spell).

On friday, shit as I was feeling, I was pulled aside by a co-woker and told that I have been acting really shitty lately, and that a) I need to be less snappish at people, b) that I need to take things less personally, and c) I need to be more tolerant and patient with others.

If it didn't hurt so much to be told when I was feeling so very shit that I had been acting like a bitch (without being given any leeway for *why* I was acting like a bitch), I could have laughed in his face. I need to be more patient and tolerant of others, in tha environment. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Don't misunderstand, I'll freely take blame for my behaviour, I just want credit where it's due. Ie, the factors which have caused me to become so irritable.

Real work (as opposed to uni work) on friday night was okay. I think I've settled nicely into the groove there.

Saturday training was pretty good. I took care of the beginners for most of it. One girl who bothered the fuck out of me when she started turns out to be really lovely, she just needs to calm down a focus a little. I've been so strung out lately that one guy came up to me after training and asked if I was okay, because I looked as though I had been crying or was about to cry. He gave me pocky, at it was good.

Sunday I refused to go to the committee meeting I have a feeling might have been on. Ooops. Watched spiderman 1 on DVD with mousebane and then spiderman 2 at the cinema with him and Jye. I must say, I enjoyed the second film a whole lot more. I found the pacing of the two films very odd, though. Not bad odd, just not standard.

I've been killing time with a copy of The Sims which I got from work with a discount. To vent my frustrations I've made a truly ugly house, much like the building where I do my PhD. I've filled it with Sims that resemble my co-workers. I laugh in bitter cynesism as they slowly slip into misery and dispair, and fight with eachother. It is oddly therapuetic.
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