October 15th, 2002

smirk - by me

Big Fat Geek

Yeah, I know, I'm a big fat geek. I keep coming up with these plans and adventures of how to keep myself busy, make my life worth-while and all the rest of it.

Jye and I have a long term plan, of maybe one day becoming a web-based design team; I do the graphic stuff that makes the clients happy, he does the coding stuff that keeps their clients happy. Course, I'd need a lot more practice, but I have an eye for asthetics which is better than some of the other web-graphic people out there.

The geek in me wants a new, shiny Mac G4, the ones in the sexy cases with monitors bigger than my house, so I can do graphics and photo editing and electronic art and all the rest of it. I salivate at the very thought (remember - no money AND no talent, but hell, I can dream).

But my most recent out let for my geeky tendancies has been to start making a module for Neverwinter Nights. I have a bizzare obsession with designing levels for RPGs and FPS games. I don't know why, but I simply cannot help myself. Marathon, Tenchu2, WLBC, anything that comes with a level editor that I touch, I edit levels. I had a temporary job doing it once, and I loved it. LOVED IT! It was the most fun I've ever had getting paid.

But, the problem that I am facing is that the NWN editor/design feature is far much more complicated than anything I've ever dealt with before. I don't have a manual, so I'm kind of groping blindly. (I mean, they want me to use a scripting language for crissakes!) And I'm always a little reluctant to post in forums on fan-based sites asking for help, because A) I'll look like "another fucking noob", B) I don't feel confident enough in my abilities to hold a conversation with people who spend their whole DAYS doing stuff that I do as a hobby, and C) gamer geeks are simply useless around chicks. They're either too sexist for words, or too tongue tied to type. ANd don't give me that whole, 'just don't tell them you're a girl' thing - they can smell the pheremones.

But you know what? The editor is pretty damn sexy, and the engine is sw33t, so I'm gonna persevere. Mostly because I'm a big fat geek. ;)
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