October 30th, 2002

smirk - by me


First of all, thankyou to everyone. You guys rock.

Secondly, various thing have happened after my ranting and raving which have made me feel much better. Not the least of which was being called 'a goddess' by a guy who I think is rather cute, sweet and nice. Who wasn't Jye. :)

Like all dramas in my life, I'm sure to get over this one (although it may come back to haunt me in a few years time again). I seem to have this bizarre almost perfect memory for things that I've done which fill me with shame and dread or things people have said to me which have cut me deeply. Heat of the moment things. Less than a tenth of a second things.

I just have to learn that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes people say things because they need to be said, not because they have any real lasting force behind them. But I suppose that isn't any different from anyone else, right?

I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake - I am me. Wholely and to the core. This is who I am. And you know what? Sometimes that isn't a bad thing.

Alright, enough of the angst. Someone hand me a goblet of mead and a virgin - the day is still young. :)
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