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March 18th, 2005

Hate

Fuck you, study. The longer I spend doing it, the more I hate it.

I have new forms to fill out. Forms that make me realise that I've been here for three years and have not achieved anything worth note. Forms that I need to fill out in the hopes that if they are approved I may get funding for the next six months. But that's a different set of forms. God I hate this.

I hate the politics, I hate the being treated like shit, I have how conservative everyone is, I have how self-centered everyone is, I hate the ammount of work that I have to do, I hate the time pressure, I hate the hours, I hate being made to feel stupid, I hate how nothing works, and I hate how it is all my fault.

I hate it. All of it.

I don't see a bright side, I don't see anything worth the crap I have to put up with, and I don't see any reason why I should stay.

What is so wrong with a dead-end job, anyway? What is so bad about working 9-5? Where is the problem is having weekends and friends and a social life? What could be so wrong with having a stable income?

I always want out. I just want out more right now.