Becka (miss_rynn) wrote,

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Brain working faster than body...

Gah. I made an error today which may prove to be fatal - I accidentally asked for a medium coffee instead of a regular. Caffiene and I exist in a strange cosmic balance, you see; if I only have two or three weak coffees a day before noon, and no other caffiene for the rest of the day, I can maybe get to sleep at about 1am. I also have low blood pressure and dehydrate reeeeeeeally easily, and have a heart murmur. So one strong medium coffee may actually be enough to damage my already weakened health...

... but it was a price worth paying! :)

Work is progressing at its regular anxiety-attack inducing pace. But today I had a revelation as I wandered across uni to get my death-coffee... I'm not actually living in the way that a PhD student should. I mean, sure, I'm looking at it from the point of view of a botany/zoology student, but still. PhD students in my minds-eye were always funky, edgy, alternative and eccentric. They dressed in the manner which pleased them, they listened to the music they liked, and they had time to do things which they enjoyed (sure, not all the time, but enough to get a kick out of life).

They're not supposed to dress like office workers, or listen to double-fucking-T FM, or spend 8-10 hours a day six days a week in their office/lab, ending up too tired and drained to have any fun at all. It's just not right.

I feel out of plave here wearing my GPs for crying out loud. I haven't even once worn a fishnet top in to work and I still feel outlandish and over the top here. I get comments on my gothiness for the sole reason that I wear darkly coloured, long velvet skirts. When did I start to be so uncomfortable about who I was that I stopped wearing the clothes I love?

Gah. Stupid coffee, brain turning over ideas too fast...

In other news, I *really* need to stop writing fan fiction so I can write my Harry Potter game for Arcanacon. Oh, hang on a minute.... *sigh*

One of these days, I gonna get some ideas of my own and I won't have to rely on other settings or what have you. Mark my words.
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