... and it makes me seeth with jealousy.
I want to be a professional game/scenario writer soooooooo badly that sometimes it makes my heart race thinking that it might maybe be a possibility one day. I want to write modules that are published world-wide that work their way into the psyches of gamers everywhere. I want people to see my name as an author and get excited about the possibility.
Isn't that what we all want? To do something we love and recieve recognition for it? That is why I want to write for cons (even if I don't enjoy the actualy game running side of it - I enjoy the knowledge that I have provided the best entertainment I can). That is why I keep striving to improve my games. That is why I get so disappointed if even *one* person at a con doesn't enjoy a game I write, why I feel that I have personally failed them.
Recently, mousebane and Lon were approached by the Godfather of Gaming, the Don of the Melbourne con scene, who requested that they run him and his crew one of their old con games. That filled me with jealousy as well.
In any case, I have always looked up to the BNGs of Australia, and strived to emulate their skill. Ever since I got into the gaming thing. I suppose I had always hoped that I would one day be included in their elite ranks. Imagine my surprise, then, when I was, in passing, refered to as a BNG by one of the BNGs I had respected and admired the most...
I'm not sure if I can be truly counted as a BNG yet, but I can tell you this for sure - this recent event has made me more determined than ever to try to be worth of it.