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One thousand shades of gray

So many different levels of bland. I'm in one of those phases again wher I just can't be bothered. Enthusiasm is way low, and I just can't see the point. I felt guilty all day yesterday for not going into work, but this morning, guilt be damned, I just wanted to stay home and sit on my ass all day.

Friday was the first night on my new work hours, 4-9pm. Honestly? I think the store is going to go bust pretty soon. A combination of multiple EB stores opening up near by, and a manager who makes pretty bad decisions. Sure, we're now offering DVD and game hire, but it strikes me as the last swan song before they start cutting back on staff. And you know which staff members will be the first to go? The most expensive, and the most expendible. That would be me, the only casual staffer who works only a little bit but is over 21 and thus costs a great deal more than the younger boys.

I could always get shirty and claim discrimination, what with being the only girl in the store and all, but if the store gets into worse shape I'll understand. Hell, I'll probably march straight up to EB and hand them a resume. The money I get helps a great deal, but I can live without it if I have to.

Saturday I didn't end up going to training, because it would mean cutting things too finely to get to Kiri's Hen's party thingie. Even then, I ended up getting there late after being a little lost and having to be rescued. Ooops. It was a little awkward for me, but only because I have become almost painfully shy these days around people I'm not familiar with. Other than that, though, it was quite lovely, and I was able to catch up with people I haven't seen for ages.

bishi_wannabe was away on Saturday day and night, because he went to Bengido to spend time with his family and teach his cousin the mysteries of D&D. It was my first night alone in the new house, and I had nightmares about armed thugs coming into the store on a friday night and demanding that we hand over the cash.

Sunday was dull, and I was lonely and bored, so I went into the city and got a few things to make my sword belt for the wedding. I kept myself busy with that, doing some braiding and embroidering, until bishi_wannbe returned, and we played some Crystal Chronicles together on my new second-hand Game Cube.

Yesterday, as I said, was mostly filled with me feeling guilty about not going in to work. Which was rather furstrating, because I was trying to relax and unwind. The truth of the matter is, however, now that I have largely finished the major experiment that I was working on which was vastly important for my thesis, I have no real interest in working. I have more work I should do, more work I need to do, but weeks ago I decided that I would put off deciding if I should take a leave of absence or not until after this experiment was done. Now I have reached that point, and I am miserable and unmotivated and tired of this place all over again.

The Lord of the Rings on CD continues. I've just gotten up to The Two Towers, where Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli have just met up with the Rohirim and have gone on into the woods to look for sign of Pippin and Merry. I am enjoying it greatly, but I don't think I would ever have been able to read it. I mean, it's like poetry, or prose, or Shakespear - it makes so much more sense when it is read to you rather than when you read it yourself. I have always enjoyed poetry, but I have always had to read it out aloud to myself in order to get my head around it.

Maybe all those years ago I should have tried reading the LotR aloud to myself?

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
harkon
Jun. 14th, 2005 01:30 am (UTC)
I find that I usually read to myself aloud. It makes me pretty slow though it helps me remember a lot more stuff.
aeduna
Jun. 14th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC)
P'haps some time off and away from it is the answer? Like a fortnight or so? It might also be a consideration to think about the amount of sunlight you're getting at the moment, a week out from the solstice - some people are very badly affected by it...
miss_rynn
Jun. 14th, 2005 03:00 am (UTC)
Sunlight? Me? Haha! I avoid sun, even in dead winter.

But yeah, time off is probably a good idea. The problems are, of course, a) coming back in after the time off and b) getting the time off in the first place.
aeduna
Jun. 14th, 2005 03:35 am (UTC)
Well, a blacklight then :) Fool the pituitary.

Yeah, its double bad if you come back after a break and find that you still hate it/are bored.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )