I am a tortured artist, you see, and I'd like to think I had a good set up for the Camarilla Changeling game I tried to run for many months. At the end of it, though, all I was left with was lack of support, bitterness, and a room full of Pooka. So much for my dark, serious game centered around trying to reclaim the city in the name of Arcadia.
Back to the love-hate thing. No matter how much I try to separate myself from it, Changeling always lures me back. No matter what systems I use, I always link them back somehow to Changeling. It has permiated my phsyche so deeply that it has become an almost unconscious point of reference, not as a reality per se, but as an alternate reality and perspective on the universe.
The idea of running a Companion game to the Arcadian Chronicals, the series of three games I ran at cons over a few years, has swept me up into its grasp. My mind is a whirl with ideas for a rich and powerful setting, deep and emotionally developed characters, and compelling, nigh startling plot. Changeling once more has me in its thrall, and I dare not try to escape it.
I want to create a work of art, you see, with players as both the paint and the brushes. I want my game to be a canvas on which a masterwork is created. Pretentious? Certainly. Ambitious? Undoubtably. Can I pull it off?....
My whole driving goal when it comes to con games is the same now as it has been for years; I want to create a game that makes people think. That makes them say, 'god damn, that was a good game'. A game that people will talk about for years to come. A game that will inspire people to write better games themselves - one that will perpetuate the improvement of role-playing in general.
It is my dream. I am a dreamer. One day, my dream may be realised.
La belle dame sans merci has me in thrall...