But times change, and people grow up, and I am no longer the hyperactive girl with a riqsue tongue and a cheeky, flirtatious attitude. Rather, I am a little older, a little more cynical, a little wiser, and I am more interested in younger boys than older men. Strangely enough, in more recent photos I found (when I was 21), I was dressed in a school uniform. Coincidence? Who can say. Either way, though, it's funny.
Its quite odd looking back on the past and seeing how much I have evolved. Somewhere in the back of my mind when I was 16 and starting Uni, I always assumed that I would be the youngest, the precious one, everyone's perpetual little sister. Perhaps it is more strange to realise now that some people look up to me, consider me a big sister, and seek to learn from me.
I have had several students in life, which is esoteric and strange to me.
I guess I am glad that I still manage to maintain some of my youth as I mature. I'm still maidening, though blurring at the edges. Maybe I became more awear of my maturation, rather than my youth, when my brother became engaged. Maybe it was when I realised I was in a de facto relationship. I do not mourn the passing of my youth into adulthood, but I mark its passage and remember.
Today is a fresh day, with new promise.
And I must remember most of all that I am not defined by my work, or by what I do, rather by who and what I am.
When I was 16, I realised that the world was mine to grab by the throat and force to give me what I wanted. Now that I am less angry, less repressed, I realise that the world, like a tiger, is best coaxed into giving its favours. Times change, people grow, and who knows what tomorrow brings?