Becka (miss_rynn) wrote,

  • Mood:

A fool and her wealth

Self-esteem, like all forms of wealth, is fleeting at best.

I had my PhD confirmation meeting yesterday. I did not pass.

My probation has been extened by one month, and I need to resubmit my report (apparently, my oral presentation, which I was told was the main focus of the confirmation process, was just peachy keen). So, yeah. I'm a big fat steaming pile of fail (or, if you're feeling policitally correct, absence of pass).

I managed to make it out of the building before I burst into tears, which was nice. I don't want to cry infront of these people.

Jye tried to console me with retail therapy, which was nice of him. He knows no other way, apparently, than retail therapy.

I didn't want to come in today. I didn't want to face these people, and have it brought to my attention ove and over that what I presented was substandard, was not acceptable, was below even the lowest of expectations. I want to go home and curl up in bed, freaky guys in my backyard be damned. I just want to stop existing.

I hate failing. I hate being here. I hate my fucking PhD. Oh, that's right, I'm in very real danger of not being able to complete my PhD. What do you know, two birds with one stone.
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