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My Knight in Shining Armor

In the passed few days, I discovered him, though I have known him for years.
A man who is kind and tender.
A man who will never willingly hurt me.
A man who is supportive.
A man who knows what I mean when I say monogomy is borne from lack of trust, and agrees with me.
A man who knows how to brush the hair from my face just so.
A man who has forgiven me for breaking his heart.
A man who has simply forgiven me, without needing me to ask him to.
A man who knows how to hug me, and make me never want to let go.
A man who understands the stupid reasons why I couldn't stay with him.

He isn't going to leave his lady-love, and I will not leave my paramour, but I know. I know in my bones that he will be there for me, not as a lover, but as a friend. It was so unexpected, that I think I almost cried.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 29th, 2003 08:40 pm (UTC)
As someone who recently discovered the same thing with someone else. I know what it's like.

Jun. 29th, 2003 09:54 pm (UTC)
Its nice to have friends, isn't it?

ah well, *quaffs non alchohilic ale* to friends!
Jun. 30th, 2003 02:47 am (UTC)
True Love
To ride abroad redressing human wrongs,
To speak no slander, no, nor listen to it,
To honor his own word as if his god's,
To lead sweet lives in purest chastity,
To love one maiden only [...]
And worship her by years of noble deeds....

——credo of the Knights of the Round Table
(Alfred, Lord Tennyson, The Idylls of the King)
Jul. 3rd, 2003 12:10 pm (UTC)
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<A man who knows what I mean when I say monogomy is borne from lack of trust, and agrees with me.>

I have been both mono and poly, but I could never find myself agreeing with you on this count. Each relationship has its own poetry, its own *beat*. Some require other hearts to find a beat. Some require only a momentary visitatation, or an infinitessimal gesture by the other.

Polygamy is not one single thing, it is borne out of trust on occasion, but often, it is the water we draw up from the well of sadness. It is sometimes the answer to the question "can I continue to be happy in this one place?". Sometimes, it is the answer to the question "This relationship is over." Perhaps even "I intend never to even try." Some polygamy is even just about sex.

This is only a lyrical wax - but if you believe that monogamous relationships, especially those around you, lack a degree of trust, then your world is more mistrustful than the world of those in love, even those in love with the moment.

All this said, one knows their own heart on these matters, and no debate alters such things.
Jul. 7th, 2003 12:46 pm (UTC)
I feel that monogomy is most often borne from jealousy. If there is an absolute ruling on the matter, you can only serve to trap and confine someone. I believe that you should hold your chosen partner to your heart like a bird - too tight, and you will crush them and love will die. Not tight enough, and they will slip away for ever and love will wither. I would strive for a middle ground, if I were given such an option.

But because I choose to be with a person who is staunchly for monogomy, I am monogomous out of respect for his wishes. I will not waver from that, because I love him, even if I feel constricted in potentia.

And I will not be told by someone who is not brave enough to even leave behind their name that my world lacks trust.
Jul. 7th, 2003 09:09 pm (UTC)
Unknown path
From the very begining elindal has been upfront about believing in poly relationships and that he has been in them in the past. I have been upfront that I don't know how I would react.

We have some basic rules: you must NEVER lie about it to each other - including lies of ommission; if adventuring with other one must ALWAYS practice safe sex.

"Cheating" is about breaking a trust - the social norm is that relationships are monogomous, it is the implied boundary in most relationships unless those in the relationship specifically state otherwise.

For my part it's not that I don't trust him - it's that my self esteem is sufficiently low that i worry that once tasting other dishes he will leave me - I fear rejection, and always have. He knows that is about ME not about him.

Over the years that we have been together, he has had crushes on other women - possibly other men, I am unsure. Generally, if it gets serious, he tells me. I have had a few crushes too, and on a few occasions, have contemplated taking things further but have been unable to intiate such activities - partially because in my mind - if I initiate such an action, then in my mind I am rejecting elindal.

We have friends with succesful poly relationships. We have friends whose lives have been turned upside down by 'cheating'.

Every relationship has to choose it's own rules. It's when you don't communicate about it that the problems start - and if you interpret the rules of you relationship differently and don't talk about it, disaster.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )